Tuesday, June 14, 2011
I need a marriage answer!
The article goes on to say that couples today often have too many expectations of their new spouse, wanting them to fill every void in their lives and then leaving at the first sign that this is not occurring, or at least when they meet someone who seems to fill a few more voids. The conclusion is that no one person can fulfill all our needs, only God can do that.
I finished reading and said something like, "Well, you KNOW that isn't my problem. I had NO delusions coming in to our marriage." (Probably the partial result of watching so many divorce around me.)
"Oh, I know," said Mike a little sadly, "but sometimes I think you had no expectations at all."
I snorted, taken aback, but when I opened my mouth to speak, nothing came out. Doggone it...he was right, or at least mostly so. The only real expectation I had was that I wouldn't have to work, and oddly enough, that is the one thing I have had to do. See what expectations get ya??
"I think I had a lot more expectations than you did," he said, and again, he was right.
Of course, we all have blind spots, and in my self-righteous self, I'd like to think that's it's better not to have any expectations at all, then there's no disappointment . But not having expectations can lead to apathy; not the best thing in a marriage.
So I'm curious: What about you? Did you come into your marriage expecting too much? Did you divorce and try again, only to have the same disappointments? How have you dealt with these issues?